Friends,
Many of us are wondering what specific things we can do to help move the world in the right direction. Here’s something we all can do to make a difference any day, or every day:
Catch people doing something right.
Yes, really!
Surely, there are plenty of things wrong with this world on both personal and global levels. It’s so easy to criticize things that are a little bit off, or outrageously bad. But focusing primarily on what’s wrong is depressing to everyone. Meanwhile, people do good things for one another every day, and most people get way too little validation for the things that they actually do right. People need to feel seen and recognized for who they truly are. It strengthens them in their goodness and makes them feel good about themselves.
Catching people doing something right means noticing them doing things that are touching, helpful, beautiful, or kind, and then telling them exactly what you see, specifically, and how it affected you.
Example 1:
You notice that your coworker put in extra effort to help a project go more smoothly for a teammate. They gave great attention to important details, going the extra mile to make their teammate’s job easier. You can tell them something about it, appreciate their effort and acknowledge the difference it made. It will surely put a smile on their face.
Example 2:
You see a parent lovingly disarm a quarrel between two youngsters, artfully making each of the children feel loved and understood, and bringing peace back to their play time. You’ve just seen a miracle! You can graciously appreciate the skill and tenderness of this devoted parent who rarely is acknowledged for their everyday works of love.
Catching people doing something right is so simple, and yet it can hugely uplift someone’s spirit and make a big positive difference to them. It’s a matter of paying attention, developing a keen and loving eye for the good that’s already going on around us, and acknowledging what you see. Who doesn’t love to be caught in the act of goodness, kindness, or consideration? Truly loving gestures are not made with hopes for accolades, but how wonderful when someone notices.
Telling people about the good things you see them do makes much more of a difference than we tend to appreciate. Even if they act like it was nothing, it means more than it seems. In truth it goes right to the bottom line of their sense of goodness.
I’ve had an experience of this recently. The other day I tried to help two of my friends with a difficulty they had, and did my best to make each person feel understood. The next day, another friend who had seen the conversation came to me and said, “Hey, I really like how you handled that interaction. You said some things I didn’t expect, and that was really cool.” I needed to hear that. I wasn’t sure how helpful my attempts had been, so it was wonderful that she told me. I was encouraged.
People often aren’t sure if they are doing right unless someone tells them. This is true especially if they are going out on a limb, taking a risk to make things right, or doing something new. We all need the positive mirror of relationship to be secure. To know how other people receive us is important. If your heart resonates with something someone does, you can help them grow stronger by telling them how you feel.
Catch them doing something right. It can’t hurt, but it can help a lot.
Love,
Mati at LoveTrust